I remember the struggle during my first pregnancy. September 11, 2001. The due date of my son was just three months away.
What are we thinking bringing a child into this world? Into this brokenness? I pondered, feeling inadequate. Foolish. Fearful.
But he came, and his sister followed two years later. And brokenness still rages outside our home. It rages inside our own walls sometimes. But redemption is big. And my babies are a part of it. Already.
But the children she carried struggled and fought with each other until, in great pain, she exclaimed, “What is going on? Why is this happening to me?” In frustration she inquired of the Eternal One why this civil war was occurring inside of her. “Two nations are growing inside of your womb, and the two peoples will be divided in the future. One will be stronger than the other, and the older will serve the younger. Genesis 25:22, 23
Heavy stuff for a pregnant woman to ponder — two children, struggling against each other already. And the future looked all the more complicated.
“I am the gate; whoever enters through Me will be liberated, will go in and go out, and will find pastures. The thief approaches with malicious intent, looking to steal, slaughter, and destroy;I came to give life with joy and abundance.” John 10:9,10
So I follow Rebekah to the Door. To the Giver of Answers. To the Giver of Peace when there are no answers.
I don’t even have to knock.