Why I Want A Small Life When the World Keeps Telling Me to Dream Big

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“We can’t keep living to impress strangers while the ones we love suffer our indifference. Focused love.  Small life.  Big rewards.” Don Miller

Focused love.  Small life.  I’m not sure that I want this.

I mean, I do.  But these words are a bit abrasive to the insecure me who keeps searching to find significance.  And um, yes, they’re a bit abrasive to the exhausted me who often feels I have nothing left to give come evening.

Love takes work.  Love. takes. work.

It’s almost easier to reach for the sky than to look into the eyes of those around you.  No, really.  I think you know what I mean.  Try harder and people notice your effort.  Conquer new goals and people admire.  Be successful and people see you.  People see you.

People.  People.  People.

What is it about the admiration of the masses that feeds our soul only to leave us empty?

And what is it about being anonymous that makes us question our worth?  Question in a really scared sort of way?

Laugh at your son’s joke, and you’re still unknown.  Play the never-ending board game Life with your daughter instead of Tweeting, and you don’t have a voice in the crowd that day.  Engage in conversation with your husband instead of pouring over Pinterest, and no one gets to know your style, your taste for good food, your amazing sense of home decor.

Yeah, engage behind closed doors with those you care about the most, and no one will notice you in those moments.

Focused love.  Small life.  Big rewards.

My son will know I’m crazy about him and will hopefully take that into adolescence.  My daughter will cherish the gift of time — translated into security — and might remember it when other girls leave her out.  My husband, bless him, who pursues me above all others will know I’d rather talk to him than anyone.

Treasures.  Big rewards.

So, today I’m choosing to get to know my family again.

You may need to get to know your friends all over again.  Or your co-workers who spend their days just an arm-length from you.  Or your neighbor who waves to you daily… the one whose last name you don’t know.

I’m choosing to look my kids and husband in the eye each time they speak to me this week — even when I’m cooking dinner.

Focused love.  Small life.  Big rewards.  I’m painting these words on the canvas of our everyday.  I’ll need some reminders.

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